


Love At First Abduction

by harunotenshi



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: AU, Abusive Relationship, Angst, Kidnapping, M/M, Romance, Stockholm Syndrome, changmin is one mean obssessive bastard, mentions of abuse, some language, yunho is in love, yunho is kind of a stalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 04:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harunotenshi/pseuds/harunotenshi
Summary: Jaejoong is currently in an abusive relationship. His boyfriend had been sweet and romantic at first, but all that was just a facade. A night together at a club suddenly turns for the worst, Jaejoong finds himself shaking in fear of what his boyfriend might do to him as punishment for something that wasn't even his fault.





	1. Taken

Jaejoong sat almost hunched in the passenger’s side of the car. His lip was bleeding, he had a cut above his right eyebrow and a bruise was blooming on his left cheek. He has his arms tightly clasped around himself as he shook with barely repressed sobs. His ribs hurt every time he tried to breathe so he gasped for air instead. A fist suddenly comes in contact with the side of his head and he whimpers in pain, curling into himself further, trying to make himself smaller, invisible (if that was possible).

 

“Shut up!”

 

Jaejoong sucks in a breath before clamping his mouth shut, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face in them to muffle the sound of his crying.

 

_Both of them had agreed to spend the night together, deciding to go to the local club. They entered together and ordered their drinks. After that was done, Jaejoong’s boyfriend immediately left him alone to who knew where._

_Jaejoong sighed. It was always like this whenever the two of them went out. His boyfriend (was it even right to call him that?) would buy him his first drink and then leave him alone. Jaejoong hadn’t minded at first, because he had always come back and asked him to dance. But as time passed, his attitude suddenly changed for worse. When he had been sweet and romantic, Jaejoong couldn’t help but fall in love with him more. Now, however, it was a completely different story. His boyfriend had started hurting him because of his possessiveness and jealousy._

_Jaejoong, in the eyes of normal people, would be quite a catch. His features are almost that of a female --- porcelain, milky-white flawless skin, big doe eyes, full lips and an impossibly tiny waist. These were the very reasons why his boyfriend didn’t want anyone to touch what was his. Jaejoong was his and only his (Jaejoong had heard him hiss it into his ear countless times)._

_The problem was other people seemed to not understand whenever Jaejoong says that he already has a boyfriend. People just refused to listen to him. It hadn’t even been an hour when Jaejoong suddenly felt a vice-like grip on his wrist as he was forcibly pulled away from the dance floor. A second later his back slammed against the wall, a very drunk, very horny man looking at him like he was his dinner. Jaejoong tried to struggle but he felt the man in front of him take his free hand while tightening the grip on the other and pin them above his head while he put his knee right below Jaejoong’s crotch, forcing himself to spread his legs. Jaejoong gasped and struggled harder, trying to escape. A hand grips his jaw and forces it upward. Jaejoong stops struggling but glares at the man instead. He slowly breathes out bending his knees slightly and waits. The man seemed to think that he’d finally subdued him, and loosens his grip on his wrists. Jaejoong takes that opportunity to strike and kicks at the man’s groin, hard._

_Rubbing his wrists, Jaejoong managed to turn around only to face the furious stare of his boyfriend._

_Being slammed against a wall for the second time didn’t hurt as much but Jaejoong still yelped at the impact. Finding himself in almost the same position from earlier, he didn’t struggle at all this time because it was his boyfriend. Though his wrists weren’t pinned above his head, he remained paralyzed by his boyfriend’s rage-filled eyes. He opened his mouth to start explaining but he never got around to it as his boyfriend backhanded him. His left cheek felt like it was on fire._

_“You slut!”_

_A hand grabs at his head and yanks it forward, only to slam it back against the wall. Jaejoong sees spots in his vision as he groans in pain. Blood and tears flow down his face, the cut above his eyebrow and on his lip bleeding profusely._

_“Please.” Jaejoong pleads, placing his hands on his boyfriend’s arm._

_Slap._

_“How dare you!?!”_

_“I’m sorry.” Jaejoong whimpers._

_“You’re mine! No one is allowed to have you!”_

_His boyfriend pushes him hard and Jaejoong falls. He didn’t get a chance to get up. He yells in pain as his boyfriend’s foot comes in contact with his ribs. Three times. Though dazed and in pain, Jaejoong feels himself get dragged on his feet, his boyfriend’s grip on his wrist cutting of his circulation._

_They push through the crowd and out of the club. Jaejoong gets himself shoved inside the car, the door almost slamming against his face. His boyfriend gets on the driver’s side and glares at him before driving out of the parking lot. Jaejoong moves as far away from his boyfriend as he can, huddling into himself._

 

Jaejoong had wanted to be out of his abusive relationship ever since his boyfriend had shown his true colors. He contemplated on walking away and never coming back. But he had no family to go back to and more importantly not enough money to survive on his own (he shared an apartment with his boyfriend and was currently jobless). Another reason why he couldn’t just leave --- his boyfriend wouldn’t allow it. Jaejoong had threatened to leave and his boyfriend exploded on him. Beaten, and bruised, Jaejoong was forced to stay at home to tend to his injuries (which had resulted in him losing his job). He didn’t mention leaving from that day on.

 

Jaejoong felt his boyfriend’s eyes on him. He squirmed but looked anyway not wanted to get hit again. But his eyes immediately focus on the front of the car. A black car was right in the middle of the road.

 

“Look out!” Jaejoong yells.

 

His boyfriend slams on the breaks just in time before they hit the car. He hisses at Jaejoong to stay in the car as he got out. Jaejoong watches as his boyfriend checks the car out but finds it locked. He goes back and gets back inside. When his boyfriend was about to close the door a figure steps up to the driver’s side and points a gun at him. Jaejoong freezes as he stares, wide-eyed at the gun barrel pointed at his boyfriend’s head. The figure pulls the trigger.


	2. Defiant

Jaejoong woke up feeling as if a ton of bricks had fallen on top of him. He groaned and opened his eyes, realizing that he was on a bed in a small windowless room. He tried to move but decided against it when he felt his chest protest in pain. Raising an arm, he noticed that his wrist was bandaged. He felt his head and realized that it was bandaged as well. He sighed, closing his eyes.

 

An image of a gun barrel blowing up his boyfriend’s head entered his mind. Jaejoong’s eyes shot open as he gasped, hands fisting the sheets.

 

“He deserves to be shot in the head.”

 

Jaejoong jumped at the voice. He had assumed that he was alone in the room. He carefully turned his head to his left and saw a man seated on a chair by his bed. His elbows rested on his knees, fingers twined together as his chin sat above them. Bow-shaped lips that formed a smirk and almond-shaped chocolate brown eyes that glinted stared back at him.

 

Jaejoong chose to remain silent, his fear of his current situation getting the better of him. The realization of his dead boyfriend hit him, leaving him feeling both devastated at his loss and somehow happy and relieved because he wouldn’t have to be beaten to the point of unconsciousness ever again. He felt his eyes burn and let his tears fall free.

 

“You must’ve loved an abusive relationship for you to be crying over someone like him.”

 

Jaejoong wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and glared at the man who had supposedly saved his life. The man just smirked at him and stood up walking to the only door in the room.

 

“Consider yourself lucky to still be alive. You didn’t know him like I did.”

 

With those words he left Jaejoong alone.

 

 

 

 

The unnamed (and handsome) man took care of Jaejoong’s injuries in the next few days. He disinfected Jaejoong’s wounds (above his eyebrow, his cut lip) and changed his bandages and put ointment on his cracked ribs. Jaejoong had fought at first (he had forgotten that he was injured and had just made it worse for himself) but it was his first, almost fatal mistake, as it had made the man put his hand on his neck (while the other pinned his wrists above his head and straddle his waist) almost squeezing the life out of him. Vision swimming and blurring, Jaejoong weakly nodded at the man’s question of not ever fighting back again so that he could properly take care of his injuries. He had let the man take care of him ever since, albeit grudgingly.

 

Now Jaejoong sat, propped up by pillows on the bed as the man carefully re-bandaged his torso. He had stubbornly remained silent (despite his fighting back earlier), refusing to answer the man’s taunts and questions and choosing to glare daggers at him instead. The man seemed indifferent, speaking only when he chose or needed to.

 

When the man finished, he moved to place a small makeshift table on top of Jaejoong’s lap. He then placed the tray of food (rice, kimchi, beef and a glass of juice) in front of Jaejoong before standing up and heading for the door.

 

“Eat.” The man said, voice surprisingly gentle but with a hint of pleading. “So that you will recover faster.” He added before leaving Jaejoong alone.

 

Jaejoong stared at the door, the man’s words echoing inside his head. The man’s voice was gentle, clearly a request and a silent plea for him to eat so that his body could get its strength back and heal itself.

 

Jaejoong, being the stubborn mule that he is, had refused to eat a bite of food in his rebellion for being held captive against his will. Jaejoong had considerably grown weak, his injuries taking longer to heal, his body becoming paler, thinner, frailer. The man had to use other means just to have Jaejoong eat --- the man had tied both of Jaejoong’s arms and feet to the bed and forced-fed him by gripping his jaw to tight that he had no choice but to open his mouth and accept the spoonful of food. The first time, Jaejoong had immediately spit the food at the man’s face, which earned him a punch, leaving his nose and mouth bleeding, right eye swollen and painfully throbbing. The man was quick to adapt though, swiftly finding another means to make Jaejoong swallow --- every time he would force Jaejoong’s mouth open, he would shove the food right in and then cover his mouth and nose. The man didn’t remove his hand until he saw Jaejoong’s throat contract to swallow the mouthful. That method only lasted a day. The man had put a knife to Jaejoong’s throat when he refused to swallow (and breathe until he was turning blue) and threatened to put a hole in it so that he could feed him through a tube instead. Crying in fear, Jaejoong had nodded, once again following the man’s orders. Still stubborn, Jaejoong forced himself to sleep almost the whole day, sometimes even pretending to be asleep, just to avoid eating.

 

Jaejoong looked at the food in front of him and then back at the closed door. He sighed and picked up the chopsticks and began to eat.


	3. Questions

It has been two weeks and Jaejoong’s almost healed. No more bandages on his head or torso. The only things left are the yellowing bruises on his face and chest. He was seated on the bed Indian style, back leaning on the headboard and a book open on his lap. He had given up trying to starve himself when it was apparent that the man would never take him to a hospital should his injuries get worse. Jaejoong decided that he would follow the man’s orders for now, gain his strength back and plan for his escape.

 

Jaejoong looked up when the man came in, tray of food in his hands. The man stared at him for a moment, as if seeing something and then he stepped forward and handed Jaejoong the tray. Jaejoong began to eat as the man sat down to watch him carefully.

 

“Who are you?” Jaejoong asked voice a bit raspy from lack of use.

“Does it matter to you to know what my name is?” the man asked back, eyes narrowing a bit. Jaejoong frowned.

“You… you knew… him.” Jaejoong said. “I must’ve met you before… or he… he must’ve introduced you to me before.”

“I did know him.” The man answered. “But we’ve never met or been introduced.”

“So why do you think you know him more than me?” Jaejoong asked locking eyes with the man. “Why did you kill him?”

 

The man just looked at him, never breaking his gaze and never answering his last question either.

 

“Why did you take me?” Jaejoong asked again.

 

The man stood up, taking the now empty tray with him and moved towards the door.

 

“You’re not going to answer my questions are you?” Jaejoong asked.

 

The man paused, his hand pulling the door mid-way.

 

“Yunho.” The man answered. “You can call me Yunho.”

 

 

 

 

For days, Jaejoong and Yunho danced around each other. Yunho would come in, bringing Jajeoong’s food, sit on the only chair in the room and watch him eat all the while staying silent. Jaejoong would ask a question, wait but then get disappointed when Yunho didn’t break his silence. When Jaejoong was done, Yunho took his tray, give him a look before walking out of the room.

 

Jaejoong wondered and thought about the reason why Yunho kept his silence. How did Yunho know his boyfriend? Why did Yunho kill… his boyfriend? Why did Yunho decide to take him… after killing his boyfriend? Jaejoong wanted to find. He wanted answers. The problem is, Yunho remained impenetrable. It was frustrating Jaejoong to no end.

 

So when Yunho came in with his food, Jaejoong crossed his arms over his chest and frown at him.

 

“Are you ever going to answer my questions?” Jaejoong asked glaring up at Yunho.

 

Yunho set the tray in front of Jaejoong as usual and sat down to watch. When Jaejoong didn’t make a move to touch his food, he narrowed his eyes at Jaejoong.

 

“No.” Yunho replied. “I don’t have to answer your questions because I choose not to.”


	4. Escape

There was a storm raging outside when Jaejoong finally decided to go through with his plan --- to escape. He had tried to find out more about Yunho, tried to talk to him but the man just wouldn’t budge. Jaejoong had to force himself to think of other, more important things. He needed to get out, to escape. He had rummaged through the room earlier and found an old battered baseball bat inside the closet. Jaejoong now had something he could use against Yunho. He waited, standing just behind the door, for Yunho to come in with his tray of food before making a move.

 

Yunho opened the door and saw that Jaejoong had once decided to sleep instead of eat (seeing the curled figure on the bed covered in a blanket). He walked forward, deposited the tray on the bedside table before leaning over the bed to wake Jaejoong. He was about to touch Jaejoong’s shoulder (cleverly fluffed up pillows arranged to look like Jaejoong’s sleeping figure covered in a blanket) when pain suddenly laced the back of his head. Yunho fell, dazed and unable to move.

 

The moment Yunho fell, Jaejoong ran. Eyes darting everywhere, he took in the unfamiliar room before him in his frantic search for a way out. A kitchen to his left, a living room to his right, a door straight ahead. Jaejoong pushed his luck and immediately ran towards the door, yanked it open and ran out in the pouring rain, to freedom.

 

Jaejoong ran, unmindful of the rain soaking his clothes, freezing his skin. He didn’t know where he was going but he didn’t care. He kept running even though his legs burned and the stitch in his side hurt it made him gasp in pain. Jaejoong must’ve kept running for hours. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed. It wasn’t until he tripped over his own feet and landed on his face that he finally stopped. Jaejoong turned himself over so he was on his back, rain hitting him, hair plastered to his face, gasping, trying to catch his breath and calm his racing heart.

 

But the unmistakable sound of running splashing footsteps made Jaejoong stop breathing. It only confirmed Jaejoong’s fears when he heard Yunho shout his name in the rain. He willed his arms and legs to move, to muster up enough strength to get up and just find a place to hide, but his limbs felt heavy, numb. Jaejoong was drenched, his teeth chattering, skin as cold as ice. Jaejoong felt the last of his strength ebb away, his vision clouding, eyes beginning to close.

 

“Jaejoong!”

 

Yunho’s voice sounded muffled, so far away. Jaejoong tried to move but his body protested. He didn’t have any strength left to move. He was so cold, so exhausted. Jaejoong felt strong arms lift him up into a warm broad chest. Unconsciously, he leaned into the warmth, burying his face in it, fisting the fabric and sighing.

 

“I thought I’d lost you.”

 

Jaejoong heard Yunho’s words. His mind tried to wrap itself around it, tried to process the words but he was far too exhausted. A violent shiver racked his body and Jaejoong curled into the warmth holding him. He felt lips descend on the top of his head then knew no more.

 

 

 

Yunho had the sense to bring an umbrella with him in his search for Jaejoong. Though the back of his head throbbed, he pushed the pain aside and focused on one thing --- finding Jaejoong. He had looked for hours, combing every street and alley he came across for any sign of Jaejoong. He was about to lose hope when he spotted a figure sprawled on the ground. Yunho’s chest tightened painfully as he stopped. When the figure’s chest moved, he released his bated breath. He didn’t need to look twice to see who it was.

 

“Jaejoong!” Yunho called out as he ran flat out, throwing his umbrella aside.

 

When Yunho reached Jaejoong, he immediately took the other in his arms. To his surprise, Jaejoong had latched onto him like a lifeline, shivering violently because he was drenched in the rain and freezing (his lips were turning blue).

 

“I thought I’d lost you.” Yunho murmured relief in his voice. “I’m so glad I found you.” He whispered more to himself before he bent down to place a kiss on the top of Jaejoong’s head.

 

Yunho had carried Jaejoong back.

 

 

 

 

Jaejoong woke up in a very familiar bed. He sighed and opened his eyes, sitting up while running a hand through his hair. Jaejoong was about to move when he felt something restraining him. He looked and found his right hand tightly clasped by Yunho’s hand.

 

Yunho was asleep, using his right hand as a pillow (the same one that held Jaejoong’s hand) while his left held a towel. Jaejoong watched Yunho sleep as memories flashed in his mind.

 

_“Jaejoong!”_

_Yunho’s voice sounded so far away. Jaejoong tried to move but his body protested. His arms felt like lead, his legs like dead weights. He couldn’t even lift a finger. He had no more strength. He was so cold, so exhausted. Jaejoong felt strong arms lift him up into a warm broad chest. Unconsciously, he leaned into the warmth, burying his face in it, fisting the fabric and sighing._

_“I thought I’d lost you.”_

_Jaejoong heard Yunho’s words. His mind tried to wrap itself around it, tried to process the words but he was far too exhausted. A violent shiver racked his body and Jaejoong curled into the warmth holding him. He felt lips descend on the top of his head then knew no more._

 

Yunho stirred, fingers tightening over Jaejoong’s as he woke up with a yawn. After blinking to get the sleep out of his eyes, he immediately put a hand on Jaejoong’s forehead. After a moment, he sighed in relief before standing up and gathering the basin, towel and tray. Jaejoong just looked at him curiously, though he could already guess what had happened to him.

 

“Why?” Jaejoong asked eyes on Yunho. The other’s silence was expected so he tried again. “Why are you taking care of me when I should be punished for trying to escape from you?”

Jaejoong’s question stopped Yunho from walking out of the room. His shoulders were tense, back rigid and he seemed to have stopped breathing.

 

“You’ve been unconscious for three days. You almost froze to death because you chose to escape into the storm. I thought your fever would never break.” Yunho spoke, his back still turned towards the door.

“Why?” Jaejoong asked. “You didn’t have to do that. Why didn’t you just let me freeze to my death?”

 

Then the door opened and Yunho walked out, closing it with a snap. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes.

 

“Because I don’t want to lose you.” Yunho whispered to himself.


	5. Emotion

After his failed attempt to escape, Jaejoong fell into depression. He didn’t talk anymore and only are when Yunho forced him to. He refused to move. He just sits on the bed, facing away from the door, blankly staring at nothing for hours and hours. Sometimes, when Yunho would come in with his food, he would find Jaejoong huddled up on the bed, knees to his chest, arms hugging himself, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

 

Yunho sighed and decides to just leave the tray on the table. He leaves the room but leans his back on the wall facing Jaejoong’s room.

 

_Why are you doing this to yourself?_

 

He’ll give Jaejoong an hour before he comes back.

 

 

 

 

Jaejoong slowly turns his head towards the door as it closed behind Yunho. He stares at it for a long moment before he slowly stands up. He looks at the bed, eyes puffy and red. His tears haven’t stopped flowing.

 

“I want to get out.” Jaejoong whispers brokenly. “I need to escape.” He takes the thin sheet in his hands, looking at it like it was his last hope. He started to twist it in his hands, until he had a noose. He placed the loop over his head so that it was around his neck. Jaejoong caressed it gently, a small smile on his face. “You can help me… help me… set me free.”

 

Jaejoong looked at the light fixture above him and smiled. He would use that to help him too. Eyes moving on the table this time, Jaejoong moved towards it, carefully taking the tray of food and placing it on the floor. He would have just swept it off but he didn’t want to be heard. Jaejoong carefully moved the table directly below the light fixture, making sure that it would be steady. He then moved towards the chair, lifting it up and placing it on top of the table.

 

“There.” Jaejoong murmured to himself, admiring his handiwork. “It’s ready.”

 

Jaejoong mounted the bed and then carefully stepped on the table. He held onto the chair for balance, it wouldn’t do if he fell now. He stepped onto the chair next, kneeling at first and then carefully balancing himself on his feet. Taking the noose in his hands, he looped it twice around the base of the light fixture and made sure to tie it as tightly as he could. When he was sure that the makeshift noose was tight enough, he let his hands fall limp at his sides. He took one last look around the room before closing his eyes, one last breath. Then Jaejoong stepped off from the chair, the noose around his neck the only thing keeping him from falling. The movement caused him to swing, hitting the chair in the process and it fell from the table with a loud clatter.

 

As the pressure around his neck tightens, Jaejoong felt himself slowly lose all coherent thought. He felt light-headed, vision dimming. He forced himself to fight his instincts that were yelling at him to remove the noose from his neck so he can get oxygen back into his lungs and brain. Spots were beginning to appear in Jaejoong’s vision, his face quickly becoming pale and then blue from the lack of air. Jaejoong couldn’t see, hear or feel anymore. He couldn’t even think.

 

Then the pressure around his neck was suddenly gone.

 

 

 

 

Yunho was about to go inside Jaejoong’s room when he heard the noise inside. Immediately pushing open the door, his eyes landed on Jaejoong, eyes closed, face turning blue with a bedsheet twisted around his neck. He stood in shock for a second before snapping himself out of it. He pushed at the door, but something was blocking it --- the fallen chair. Kicking it away, he finally got inside the room, hands reaching out to grasp Jaejoong’s waist. After a couple of strong tugs, the fixture buckled and then came off, crashing on the floor.

 

Yunho removed the noose around Jaejoong’s neck, carefully laying him on the floor. Immediately placing his ear to Jaejoong’s chest, he let out a relieved sigh when he heard the other’s heart beat. Yunho sat back on his knees for a moment, eyes never leaving Jaejoong’s face.

 

Coughing and spluttering, Jaejoong turned his head to the side, curling in on himself as he gasped for air. He opened his bleary eyes and met Yunho’s furious glare. He was about to get up when he felt Yunho grip his chin, fingers digging into his cheeks. Jaejoong whimpers in pain, voice raspy from being strangled by the noose.

 

“Killing yourself to escape.” Yunho hissed, gripping Jaejoong’s chin tighter. “Is not the solution, Jaejoong. That’s cowardice.”

“Why should you care?” Jaejoong rasped, managing a glare at Yunho. “Leave me alone.”

 

Anger flashed in Yunho’s eyes. His hands were suddenly around Jaejoong’s neck, tightening, squeezing. Jaejoong gasped, struggling weakly, hands clutching at Yunho’s arms.

 

“What? You wanted to die and join him that much so he can torture you even in the afterlife?” Yunho asked eyes narrowing. “I told you, Jaejoong. You don’t know him like I do.”

“Why do you care?” Jaejoong shot back. “You should just mind your own business.”

 

Slap.

 

Jaejoong gasped in pain. His hand automatically came on his cheek as he glared at Yunho, still defiant.

 

Another slap.

 

“You are my business, Jaejoong.” Yunho glared back. His hand returned to gripping Jaejoong’s chin, forcing him to look at him. He brought his face closer to Jaejoong’s until his lips were beside Jaejoong’s ears. “Because you are my vengeance. You are his atonement. For all the wrongs he’s done to me.” He whispered.

 

Yunho shoved Jaejoong away, standing up. He took the makeshift noose and tore a long piece of cloth from it. He came back and grabbed Jaejoong’s wrist. He pulled him up and threw him on the bed. Landing with a painful grunt, Jaejoong made to move but Yunho was quick. Grabbing him by his wrists, he shoved Jaejoong back on the bed, straddling his stomach.

 

Yunho pins Jaejoong’s wrists above his head with one hand while the other takes one end of the strip of cloth and ties it around Jaejoong’s wrist, the other to the headboard. Jaejoong struggles in vain but he kept his glare directed at Yunho, as if daring him to do more. Yunho’s eyes narrow and he grips Jaejoong’s chin again. He leans down until their noses are almost touching.

 

“You are walking a very dangerous path, Jaejoong.” Yunho said voice soft, dangerous. “Do not test me.”

“What?” Jaejoong challenged. “Are you going to rape me and then kill me?”

 

Yunho visibly snaps, tightening his grip on Jaejoong. Letting his emotions take over, he captures Jaejoong’s lips. The kiss was rough, demanding and angry. Yunho forced his way into Jaejoong’s mouth, ignoring the other’s struggling and whimpering. He bit at Jaejoong’s lower lips hard, almost breaking the skin. Yunho only stopped when his lungs were on fire, his head light from lack of oxygen, leaving Jaejoong’s lips red and bruised. Jaejoong gasped for air, tears streaming down his face.

 

Upon seeing this, Yunho regains control again. He places his hand on Jaejoong’s face but Jaejoong jerks away, glaring through his tears at Yunho again. Something flashes in Yunho’s eyes. Hurt. Pain. Agony. But Jaejoong ignores it and keeps glaring. Yunho’s eyes soften, becoming apologetic. He brushes Jaejoong’s tears away, his touch gentle, almost comforting. He moves up and Jaejoong feels Yunho’s lips softly touch his forehead.

 

“I’m sorry.” Yunho whispers. Then he was gone.

 

Jaejoong lay in bed, eyes wide with shock.


	6. Gentleness

Jaejoong sighed as he closed his eyes, his right hand going over the metal chain and cuff that now encased his left. This was his punishment for trying to commit suicide. He had failed to kill himself because Yunho had come in and saved him. Though Jaejoong had remained stubborn and defiant, Yunho was adamant on keeping him alive (though there was the occasional burst of anger when Jaejoong pushed his buttons too much). Yunho’s anger had revealed answers --- answers that Jaejoong had been looking for --- the reason for his boyfriend’s death, and his abduction afterwards.

 

Jaejoong had been thinking about Yunho’s words. He had no other friends or family, which suited Yunho just as well. No one would ever come looking for him. The only person who would (and hurt him as punishment) was now dead, having been shot by Yunho in the head. Now that his boyfriend was dead and out of the way, Jaejoong was the perfect and only person to exact his revenge on.

 

Jaejoong fingered the chain and pulled on it again. He knew it a fruitless effort. The metal chain was strong, sturdy. It would take a metal saw to cut it, though Jaejoong could try and chew his hand off like in the horror movies. But he wasn’t that desperate to escape. He had no where and no one to go to for help.

 

Hugging his knees to his chest, Jaejoong’s thoughts wandered back to Yunho’s last words.

 

_Yunho’s eyes soften, becoming apologetic. He brushes Jaejoong’s tears away, his touch gentle, almost comforting. He moves up and Jaejoong feels Yunho’s lips softly touch his forehead._

_“I’m sorry.” Yunho whispers. Then he was gone._

 

Feeling his heart race, Jaejoong shuts his eyes, willing images of Yunho away from his mind. Yunho’s sudden gentleness, his kindess --- this wasn’t the first time Jaejoong had experienced it. Yunho had this other side to him that he rarely showed. Yunho had indeed abducted him, he could’ve let him starve or tortured him but he didn’t. Instead, Jaejoong was in a room, windowless perhaps, but it was better than being stuck somewhere dank and dirty. Yunho had taken care of him, treated his injuries and fed him when he shouldn’t have.

 

He looked up when he heard the door open. Yunho came in, tray in hand, face blank. Jaejoong straightened up from his position and let Yunho carefully place the tray in his lap.

 

“Thanks.” Jaejoong murmured, hoping that this time he would get some sort of response from Yunho.

 

None came.

 

Yunho usually stayed to watch him eat, but ever since his failed suicide attempt, Yunho had him chained to the wall and kept anything that was potentially dangerous away from him. He still brought in food, but left soon afterward, only returning to retrieve the tray when Jaejoong was done.

 

“Can…” Jaejoong began just when Yunho was about to leave. “Can you stay?” he asked. Yunho stopped but didn’t turn around. “Please?” Jaejoong asked again.

 

Yunho nodded and sat on the chair beside the bed. He looked anywhere but at Jaejoong, which had Jaejoong feeling like someone had taken a knife to his heart. Gripping the tray tight, Jaejoong forced himself to look away and began eating. He couldn’t finish his food, having lost his appetite because of Yunho.

 

“Why don’t you look at me anymore, Yunho?” Jaejoong asked softly (and as bluntly as he could).

 

As if to answer his question, Yunho turned his head to finally look at Jaejoong. Though Yunho’s face was carefully arranged to have no emotions, Jaejoong was glad the he was looking at him. Locking eyes with Yunho, Jaejoong managed a small smile, a silent thanks at his request.

 

Something flashed in Yunho’s eyes before he forced himself to look away from Jaejoong. He stood up, taking the half empty tray with him as he left Jaejoong alone again.


	7. Heartache

Jaejoong felt his eyes burn. He looked down on his hands, biting his lower lip. Taking a shaky breath, he returned to his fetal position again, resting his chin on his knees. He wondered why Yunho had suddenly changed. It left him wondering what Yunho’s true intentions are.

 

_Why do I feel like this?_

 

 

 

 

Yunho sighed, putting his head in his hands. He had been avoiding Jaejoong as best he could but with what had happened earlier, Yunho was beginning to feel his determination crack. Jaejoong suddenly saying those words had his heart drumming in his ears.

 

_Why don’t you look at me anymore, Yunho?_

 

Yunho wanted to answer that question so very much. But he forced himself to stay silent, in control before he finally let himself look at Jaejoong. It proved to be a bad idea, the moment their eyes locked on each other. Jaejoong’s smile had his walls crumbling. With great difficulty, he had forced himself to look away and leave the room before anything else happened.

 

_Why am I feeling like this?_

 

 

 

 

Jaejoong looked at the flickering light of from the old gas lamp that Yunho had brought in (since the light fixture was now useless). He watched the red-orange flame dance, his thoughts wandering back to Yunho. Jaejoong sighs, laying back on the bed and taking to staring at the ceiling instead.

 

_“Yunho?” Jaejoong asked._

_Yunho stopped at the door, carefully turning to face Jaejoong with a blank expression. Jaejoong had a slightly pleading look on his face, eyes a bit fearful and apprehensive. Yunho waited for Jaejoong to continue, but the latter just held his cuffed wrist out._

_“Please?” Jaejoong said. “I promise I won’t try anything.”_

_Yunho looked at Jaejoong for a long time. It wasn’t until he was sure that the sincerity in Jaejoong’s eyes was really true that with a sigh, he removed the metal cuff from Jaejoong’s wrist._

_“Thank you.” Jaejoong said, rubbing his left wrist as he smiled at Yunho._

 

As promised, Jaejoong had not tried anything --- escaping, starving himself or killing himself. Yunho went back to his old routine of watching as Jaejoong ate, but as always, he remained silent. While he was eating, Jaejoong chanced a glance at Yunho through his bangs and almost couldn’t repress his gasp of surprise.

 

Yunho was watching him, looking at him with soft eyes, filled with so much emotion that had Jaejoong stunned. He quickly looked down on his food again, mind reeling.

 

_Had I really seen that?_

 

Jaejoong swallowed, fighting down the blush rushing to his cheeks and trying to calm the pounding in his chest.

 

“Jaejoong, is there something wrong?” Yunho asked.

 

Jaejoong’s head shot up as he locked eyes with Yunho, surprise on his face. It was the first time in a long time that Yunho had spoken. There was concern in Yunho’s eyes, but Jaejoong also noticed something else --- confusion and a bit of amusement. Jaejoong blinked. Why would Yunho be amused?

 

Yunho watched Jaejoong as he ate. He smiled to himself. He hadn’t missed the fleeting glances Jaejoong had been giving him from under his bangs. It was cute. Eyes softening and filling with affection, he just stared at Jaejoong, content to just be in the room with him. When he noticed Jaejoong’s gaze on him and then his sudden embarrassment, he tried not to laugh out loud.

 

Yunho had asked if there was something wrong but Jaejoong just looked at him, cheeks flushing. He watched, amused as Jaejoong blinked several times, before shaking his head in answer, ducking his head to hide his red face. A soft smile spreads on Yunho’s lips as he stands up, gently taking the tray of food from Jaejoong’s lap. He sat on the bed and felt Jaejoong tense.

 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Yunho asked. “Your face is flushed.”

 

If it were possible, Jaejoong flushed an even deeper shade of red at Yunho's last sentence. Yunho chuckled softly, leaning down (he put the tray on the chair at the same time). Gently, his fingers found Jaejoong’s chin as he tilted it up so that he could look at Jaejoong’s face. Charcoal-blue eyes met his chocolate brown ones. Yunho meant for it to be a fleeting look but he couldn’t help himself as he drowned in Jaejoong’s gaze, feeling his heart skip a beat.

 

Jaejoong’s skin tingled from where Yunho’s fingers touched (and rested), as he felt all the blood rush to his face. He looked into Yunho's eyes, searching, admiring and trying to commit to memory every curve, detail and angle of the man's small face all at the same time. There was something about Yunho… something that made him feel at ease. It was a feeling that he kept ignoring the moment he woke up in the windowless room (and found Yunho watching him with concerned eyes).

 

"Your eyes...why do you look at me so?" Jaejoong whispered voicing out what was on his mind. He had no idea that such a simple question (well...simple to him) would shut down that warm, inviting light in Yunho's eyes.

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, it was as if he had never looked into Jaejoong's warm gaze. Yunho abruptly stood up and left the room, carrying the tray (now empty) he had brought in for Jaejoong earlier. Jaejoong was left there, confused and...worried.

 

 _Why?_   
  
His thoughts in a jumble and heart in a painful knot, Jaejoong tried to reason with himself. What was wrong with him? Why does it feel like his heart was suddenly torn from his chest the moment Yunho’s gaze turned cold? Why did his heart beat faster every time Yunho was near? Why did he feel at ease whenever Yunho was around?

 

_I shouldn’t feel this way… but why?_

 

Jaejoong knew. He knew the answer to his own question. He looked at the depression on the bed, left by Yunho's weight. Jaejoong sighed, the loneliness seeping in again. The spot where Yunho previously sat was still warm. Jaejoong lay down, shuffling himself as close and around the warmth that was slowly disappearing, trying to absorb as much of it as possible. He closed his eyes thinking of one thing --- Yunho --- and he realized.

 

_I love him._


	8. Breathe

Yunho silently slipped into the room, after making sure that Jaejoong had fallen asleep. He couldn’t keep himself far away from Jaejoong. As soon as he had taken care of some chores (with his mind constantly wandering on Jaejoong’s words as he washed the dishes), he was back in front of Jaejoong’s room, torn between going in or just staying outside. Yunho watched Jaejoong's sleeping face --- his face looked sad and lost, there was a frown on his lips.  
  
Yunho stood by the door, unmoving. He was drawn to the sleeping form curled up on the bed. It was taking all his willpower to keep himself from moving any closer, afraid of his traitorous feelings. He found himself growing more attached to this endearing creature. He knew he shouldn't, he had promised himself that he would have his revenge but his heart (even as he tried to suppress his feelings for Jaejoong) seemed to have a will of its own.

 

Jaejoong shifted a bit, curling into himself more. Unable to resist anymore, Yunho found himself by the other’s bedside, crouching down. His touch feather-light, he carefully brushed Jaejoong’s bangs out of his face.

 

_I don’t think I can… not anymore…_

 

Jaejoong sighed in his sleep, a single tear falling from his closed eye. Feeling a pang in his heart, Yunho gently brushed it away before standing up and leaving the room.

 

 

 

 

As soon as the door closed, Jaejoong opened his eyes. He looked at the door with a longing, wishing Yunho had not left his side. A few tears rolled down his cheeks as he suddenly felt cold (even in the warm room). Jaejoong reached out, taking the gas lamp in his hands. Holding its base, he put it in front of his chest thinking the lamp’s warmth would somehow help. He stared at the flickering flame for a long moment before he succumbed into the darkness again.

 

As Jaejoong fell into a deep sleep, his grip on the lamp slowly loosened. It slipped from his fingers and shattered on the floor. The lamp’s spilled contents spread alight, the fire starting to catch on the objects it touched. Slowly it spread, the flames flickering, sparking and licking the walls, the smoke becoming thicker.

 

Yunho lay on the couch, his arm over his eyes. He contemplated going back to Jaejoong’s room just to watch him sleep but decided against it. He didn’t want to do anything that would just make things worse. He had almost crossed the line earlier, remembering how Jaejoong’s face and his were just inches apart, his hand cupping the other’s chin. Jaejoong’s words had jolted him out of his daze, reality dawning on him.

 

Yunho couldn’t let himself, not with Jaejoong. But his heart was telling him otherwise. Although Yunho had already convinced himself to not go back to Jaejoong's room, something in the core of his being told him to do otherwise. It was as if his instincts were ringing alarms of danger.

 

"No... he wouldn't hurt himself again... would he?" The cold grip of fear latched itself onto his soul, and Yunho knew he probably had no other choice now.

 

Yunho immediately knew that something was terribly wrong. He put his hand on the knob only to yank it back, hissing in pain. The metal had scorched his skin but he paid no mind. Heat and smoke escaped from under and from the cracks on the door. Eyes widening, he backed up and ran at it, slamming his shoulder and all his weight onto the heated wood.

 

Fire.

 

It was all Yunho saw. He put up a hand, shielding his face as he tried to look beyond the flames. Fear gripped his heart, mind going a million miles a second as Yunho stepped further into the room, dodging the flames as he went. Smoke was thick, floating around and above him, sparks flew everywhere. Sweat ran down Yunho’s face and the smoke was making it hard to breathe but he slowly (and carefully) kept walking forward.

 

Jaejoong was still on the bed, sweat-drenched and unconscious. Yunho’s heart stopped. He couldn’t tell if Jaejoong was breathing or not. Risking injury, he was beside Jaejoong in a second, wrapping the sheets around his limp form.

 

Without a second thought, Yunho hoisted up the limp form onto his shoulders, and started making his way out of the burning room. He could feel the flames licking at his calves, his hips, but all he could think of was getting the unconscious man to safety. Making his way through the burning rubble (bits and pieces of furniture have crumbled all over), Yunho stumbled. He nearly toppled over, what with the additional weight of the other man, but he still kept on going, determined to get Jaejoong out.

 

The door.  
  
It was right in front of them. Yunho dashed for the door, to have the doorframe suddenly drop down. If he were to have been a second earlier, he would have been crushed. Trying to catch his breath, Yunho shifted Jaejoong a bit so that he was secure in his arms before focusing back on the doorway. Yunho stared at the doorframe now blocking his path. Flames were already licking the sides, the smoke getting thicker, darker. Taking a chance, he dashed forward, narrowly avoiding a part of the ceiling that crumbled in the flames. When he was near enough, he started kicking it. Not thinking of the repercussions, he continued kicking, and to his surprise, the frame broke into two.   
  
There was only one thing left to do to get out of the dang room.   
  
He jumped.

 

Yunho twisted himself in mid-air, tightening his hold on Jaejoong as he landed (a bit painfully) on his back. They were out… and safe. Yunho sat up with Jaejoong still in his arms, his breath coming in shallow gasps. Carefully he laid Jaejoong on the floor and checked him for any injuries. It was then that Yunho noticed that Jaejoong hadn’t regained consciousness.

 

Jaejoong wasn’t breathing.

 

Yunho checked Jaejoong's vitals again, desperately trying to feel for a heartbeat.

There was none to be found.   
  
Grief already consuming him, Yunho started pumping Jaejoong's chest and giving him mouth to mouth, desperate and determined to get a heartbeat out of the other. When Jaejoong still didn’t respond, Yunho doubled his efforts, not feeling the futileness of the situation at hand.

 

Meanwhile, the fire was still raging, threatening to make its way out of the room and leave a path of destruction in its wake. But Yunho could not care less. All that mattered was that the man before him start to breathe again.

 

A choked gasp and a second later Jaejoong was coughing and gasping, trying to get the smoke out of his lungs and get much-needed oxygen into it at the same time. Yunho gathered him in his arms and hugged him tight, burying his face in Jaejoong’s hair, crying.

 

Jaejoong fluttered his eyes open, and found that he still had black spots in his vision, and closed his eyes shut again. He could barely make out the shape of the person whose arms he was in, hugging him tight.

 

Jaejoong opened his bleary eyes once again, finding himself in Yunho’s arms. He felt more at ease than surprised and weakly brought his arms around Yunho’s shaking form.

 

“Yun… ho?” Jaejoong voice was barely audible, but Yunho heard it nonetheless, tightening his embrace even more.

 

Confused, Jaejoong’s eyes wandered around. They were on the living room floor. He didn’t know how they came to be there until his eyes found the room he was just sleeping in ablaze.

 

“I thought I lost you… again.” Yunho shakily whispered voice heavy with tears. “Thank god you’re okay.”

 

Jaejoong leaned back, hands on Yunho’s chest pushing lightly. His eyes flashed concern the moment he saw Yunho’s tear-stained face. Gently wiping them away (Yunho closing his eyes and leaning into his touch), he smiled at Yunho, silently asking.

 

“I don’t want to lose you.” Yunho answered, holding Jaejoong’s hands. “Ever.”


	9. Truth

_“I thought I lost you… again.”_  
  
“I don’t want to lose you. Ever”

 

Those words pounded in his brain, making his heart thud louder and louder. Jaejoong was stunned. Why was that? He had never met Yunho before...or maybe not, judging from the still-sobbing man's reaction.   
  
Jaejoong traced the more muscular man's jaw with his fingers, silently pleading him to cease crying -- all was fine now. Soon enough, Yunho, relaxing under Jaejoong's touch, calmed down, though tears were still streaking down his face.   
  
"What did you mean by that… before?"  
  
Jaejoong was still stroking the other man's face, soothing him. The words hung suspended in the air, stretching the silence between them.   
  
The gentleness of the question had Yunho rooted. How was he going to explain? The poor man didn't know what he had gone through all this time.  
  
"I...I..." The man was lost for words. He did not know how to break it to the man in his arms, how he was going to explain everything. He might not be able to take it. In the end, Yunho started to stand up, with Jaejoong in his arms still.   
  
But he could not stand up properly.  
  
Jaejoong, seeing Yunho's difficulty, looked the other once over. He gasped as he saw Yunho's calves. The skin was peeling, looking raw and blistered from the fire. He jumped out of Yunho's embrace and told the man to sit down. Jaejoong then went in search of the kitchen, coming back with some wet cloth and toothpaste to put on the burns.  
  
Yunho was touched. After all, he had kidnapped Jaejoong. He thought that the man would have escaped by now.  
  
After assuring Yunho that he would be okay, Jaejoong ran to the nearest bathroom he could find and quickly filled up whatever he could put water in and started dousing the fire in the room he had been in. After many trips from the bathroom to the room, the fire had been put out. The smoke still billowing out of the room, Jaejoong went to where he had left Yunho.   
  
The man was clumsily applying the toothpaste, not knowing what to do. Sighing, Jaejoong knelt down and took the tube of toothpaste from Yunho's grasp. The man was just too tense and wound up.  
  
While Jaejoong was applying the salve on his calves and wherever he was burnt, somehow Yunho felt safe and cared for. Under the other's gentle ministrations, he felt his muscles relax.  
  
"Changmin and I were best friends."  
  
Upon hearing the name of his late ex, Jaejoong froze in his ministrations. Never would he have thought that Min would have not only known Yunho before, but to be best friends with him!


	10. Past

"Changmin and I... we were friends. We were close, shared and did everything together.  There were reasons why our friendship broke, reasons which I would rather not go into. But I have to..." Yunho mumbled, carefully drawing his knees to his chest (so that he wouldn’t brush his legs as much) and lowered his head onto his folded arms.   
  
"There was this guy... who had fallen in love with Changmin and Changmin was in love with him as well. When I first laid eyes on him, I knew it was the stirrings of love. I have been in love with him ever since. But he never saw me once... Even so, the guy looked just like an angel to me, so pure and innocent."  
  
"I wanted that person to always smile and be happy but because of Changmin... and his abusive behavior, he was hurt and unhappy. Many of his ex-lovers did not survive more than a year with him. I did not wish for the other guy to be abused, much less by my own best friend so we had a huge fight.... When he first met his boyfriend he was willing to let me meet him, but after this fight... well, he forbade me to ever come in contact with him. Changmin could more or less guess that I was in love with his boyfriend and threatened his life if I come near him."  
  
"I was surprised at hearing Changmin’s words. Did I? But I couldn’t doubt my heart and had no choice but to comply with Changmin's wishes. I hoped that he would treat him better, if I were to stay away."  
  
"Over the months, I saw how happy they were, and couldn't help but feel jealous. When I saw how happy the he was, I sort of came to terms with it, knowing I would never have a chance with him."  
  
Jaejoong, who was silent throughout Yunho's explanation, somehow knew it was related to him, but he couldn't exactly put a finger on it. He was suddenly jealous, of how devoted Yunho was to that man, who apparently had dated Min before as well.   
  
Yunho paused for a moment, seeming to collect himself before continuing.   
  
"Then one day, I saw the man leaving his house with a bruised cheek and black eye, limping as he made his way to his car. I immediately knew it was Changmin's fault. Over the next few days, I kept watch and the man kept going out of the house with new bruises adorning his face and body like a patchwork quilt."  
  
"I decided to deal with Changmin and take the man away from all this."  
  
"Having seen more than enough signs, I decided to confront Changmin. I followed him and his boyfriend to a club. I didn’t go inside but waited for Changmin to come back out. The punk was dead drunk, and majorly pissed. He had a death grip on his boyfriend’s wrist as he dragged him back to his car, shoving him inside."  
  
“Somehow I knew that Changmin would be heading home so I drove ahead. I parked my car diagonally, blocking the road and waited for his car.”

 

Jaejoong’s eyes widened with every word that came from Yunho. Flashes of that night came flooding back and he covered his mouth in shock.

 

_Jaejoong felt his boyfriend’s eyes on him. He squirmed but looked anyway not wanted to get hit again. But his eyes immediately focus on the front of the car. A black car was right in the middle of the road._

_“Look out!” Jaejoong yells._

_His boyfriend slams on the breaks just in time before they hit the car. He hisses at Jaejoong to stay in the car as he got out. Jaejoong watches as his boyfriend checks the car out but finds it locked. He goes back and gets back inside. When his boyfriend was about to close the door a figure steps up to the driver’s side and points a gun at him. Jaejoong freezes as he stares, wide-eyed at the gun barrel pointed at his boyfriend’s head. The figure pulls the trigger._

 

Jaejoong at last knew who Yunho was talking about -- himself, Kim Jaejoong.

 

 

 

 

Jaejoong looked at Yunho like he was seeing him for the first time. Finally hearing Yunho’s story had left Jaejoong a bit confused. What was he supposed to do now that he finally found out the true reason of Yunho’s actions? What was he supposed to feel about this?

 

Jaejoong was trying to keep his calm as Yunho cried silently on his shoulder, shoulders racking with sobs. Jaejoong may have looked calm and pitying on the outside, but he was actually having an emotional turmoil inside.

 

Jaejoong was arguing with himself mentally.

 

_I'm in the arms of a murderer! A person who killed my boyfriend for goodness sake!_

 

But Changmin had hurt Jaejoong. Jaejoong and Changmin had been in love, but as Jaejoong soon learned, while Changmin’s love didn’t last, his would... but at what cost? His life?

 

_I’m better off with Yunho._

 

Jaejoong stopped.

 

_Yunho is a selfish jerk. He wanted me so he killed Changmin. He killed his best friend in cold blood. What if…_

 

“You don’t have to force yourself.”

 

Yunho’s words cut through Jaejoong like a knife. He locked eyes with Yunho, trying to see through all the turmoil in his eyes --- sincerity, sadness and hurt. Jaejoong looked down on his hands. It hurt, seeing Yunho like that.

 

But...   
  
Jaejoong gave up trying to think of a retort, sighing. It was going nowhere.  
  
_How can I be like this? The man is obviously hurting, and not to mention he had something against Changmin already, and some part of me feels as if Changmin had deserved it..._  
  
I seem like a heartless bastard.   
  
“I don’t.” Jaejoong said suddenly, looking up into Yunho’s eyes. “Not with this. Not with you.” Jaejoong had no idea what made him say that to Yunho.  


Jaejoong looked at Yunho for a long moment before silently sighing, eyes softening, a smile starting to pull at his lips.

  
Yunho’s eyes widened. He had just told Jaejoong the truth. He was ready to have Jaejoong spurn him, leave him alone. But here he was, right in front of him, accepting him.  
  
Yunho couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward, arms reaching around Jaejoong as he wrapped his arms around him. He buried his face between Jaejoong’s shoulder and neck, tears starting to fall once again. He felt Jaejoong return the hug. He sighed and let himself go, tears spilling over his eyes and soaking Jaejoong’s shirt.

 

Jaejoong felt his arms go around the taller man's back and hug him tightly. Yunho felt soft and warm to Jaejoong in their embrace. He was lulled by the feel of it, his eyes closing slowly, his head nestled in Yunho’s broad shoulder.

 

Jaejoong felt Yunho mumble against his shoulder, voice just above a whisper he almost missed it.

 

“I love you, Jae.”


	11. Epilogue

_~Half a year later~_  
  
"Jaejoong! Don't forget you promised to go with me to the movies tonight! Oh, and dinner as well! See you later, I need to rush off now! Bye!"   
  
Jaejoong sighed in exasperation. Yunho was forever on the move, and kept on rushing things. He could be so clumsy at times, he didn't know if he should feel annoyed or amused by his boyfriend.

 

The phone call was only 20 seconds long. Jaejoong shook his head, frowning at his phone. He hadn’t even had the time to reply to it as Yunho had hung up right after.  
  
He still had much time to spare before he was to meet up with Yunho. He shook his head, mumbling about how his boyfriend can't keep still. How will he continue to put up with him?

 

Thinking back to the time they first met, it was a time he would never forget. Who knew that his abductor would end up becoming his boyfriend? Anyone else would have scoffed at the idea. Jaejoong once would have done so too, but now, he just smiles softly at the thought. But then that smile hitched a little as he remembered.

 

Changmin.

 

He was the reason that he and Yunho even met at all. But it did not exactly have a good result. It ended up with Changmin dead.

 

Jaejoong sighed, looking out the window. Should he? Would Yunho get mad at him if he did that? He had been putting it off for so long.

 

Eight months.

 

Eight months since Changmin's death.

 

~

 

“Joongie!” Yunho smiled as he pulled the other into his arms, hugging him tightly, burying his face in Jaejoong’s hair.  
“Hi Yun,” Jaejoong smiled back using the other’s nickname. He leans back and plants a soft kiss on Yunho’s cheek. “You are such a kid sometimes.” He teased as Yunho just smiled at him.  
“You ready to go?” Yunho asked. “I promised you can choose what you want to watch.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled (a bit sadly, though Yunho didn’t notice) and nodded. He had wanted to bring visiting Changmin up to Yunho but decided not to… yet. He knew that the subject was still a bit sensitive for Yunho. But still…  


Jaejoong sighed, a look of determination flashing in his eyes before he looked at Yunho.

  
“Let’s go.” Jaejoong said, taking Yunho’s hand in his.  
~  
  
"Joongie, where are we going? The cinema is in the other direction." Yunho asked, worry in his voice.  
  
Jaejoong gave no reply or acknowledgement to Yunho's question as they wove through the crowds on the street. All he did was to grip his boyfriend's hand even tighter, as if they were about to be separated.  
  
He shook his head to clear any unpleasant thoughts. Before they knew it, they had walked their way out of the crowd into a deserted lane, leading to the city's graveyard.  
  
To where Changmin now lay.  
  
Yunho, still not knowing what was going on, pulled Jaejoong to a stop.

 

"Weren't we supposed to go watch a movie?" Jaejoong cringed at this knowing what he was about to do, and continued walking on, bringing Yunho along behind him still.  
  
Jaejoong came to a stop as he laid eyes on a familiar place which was afar. He had designed it, and was quite proud of his design. He knew what kind of style Changmin liked, so he knew that if his ex were to be able to see the grave, he would be happy and content, despite how he had died.  
  
Realizing where they were and seeing the object of Jaejoong's focus, Yunho froze, eyes widening a bit, flashing with guilt, fear and remorse. Jaejoong squeezed Yunho’s hand before he released his hold. He was about to walk closer but Yunho hesitated and just stood there, staring into space.  
  
Jaejoong, noticing that Yunho wasn't following him anymore, looked back to see Yunho standing shock still, his head bent. He walked back to where his boyfriend was and looked him in the eye.  
  
"Jaejoong... I... I can't... I don’t…" Yunho stammered.  
  
The pained whisper hung in between the two men, as Yunho looked up at Jaejoong. Jaejoong's chest felt tight as he locked gazes with Yunho. Seeing the look of despair and pain in his face, Jaejoong's hand shot up in the space between them, offering Yunho to take hold of it once again, encouraging him on, silently saying, _Come on, we can do this together. We have to do this to put out hearts and minds at ease._  
  
Seeing the silent encouragement and determination in Jaejoong's eyes, Yunho tilted up his head and straightened up, still feeling the pain and hesitation in his heart, but determined to face it. He sighed, his hand on Jaejoong’s tightening and took a step forward.  
  
And there it was.  
  
_Here lies Shim Changmin, born on xx-xx-xxx; died on xx-xx-xxxx._  
A good friend and a loving son. May you rest in peace.  
  
Two angels were situated on top of the gravestone; the epitaph etched into pure white marble.  
  
~

 

The two of them stood in front of Changmin’s grave in silence, hands still tightly clasped. The wind blew, rustling the leaves, playing with their hair. Jaejoong stared at Changmin’s gravestone, sadness in his eyes. Even though he suffered for a time under Changmin’s hand, he had realized that he had loved him at one point and that Changmin had returned those feelings. Jaejoong smiled, memories of his time with Changmin (before he turned abusive) flooding back to him.

 

“Minnie-ah,” Jaejoong murmured quietly. “I hope you’re well… and happy.”

 

Yunho heard Jaejoong’s words and felt a pang in his heart. Changmin, for every bad thing that he had done to Jaejoong, had once been his best friend. He still felt truly guilty for doing what he did and was filled with trepidation. If not for Jaejoong’s encouragement (and downright stubbornness) he would not have come here at all. Half of him regretted what he did, while the other felt quite the opposite --- he didn’t want Jaejoong to suffer and then die (eventually) in Changmin’s hands --- and thought that Changmin deserved his fate.

 

Maybe it was time for him to apologize to his former best friend. Maybe he should just forget about the bad things which happened in the past and focus on the present and the future. It was always worth a shot.

 

“I’m sorry, Min-ah.” Yunho whispered, closing his eyes (the feeling of regret having won over his internal emotional battle).

 

A gentle touch, feather-light and fleeting --- it was gone as quickly as it had come (if it had come at all). Yunho and Jaejoong gasped in surprise, Jaejoong’s hand flying to his forehead while Yunho’s to his cheek.

 

A whisper of wind. A slight caress.

 

_‘I’m sorry, Jae.’_

_‘I’m sorry, Yun-ah.’_

 

Eyes widening, Yunho and Jaejoong looked at each other, shocked. Looking back at Changmin’s gravestone, Jaejoong smiled, shaking his head.

 

“I know, Minnie-ah.” Jaejoong murmured. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry too, Min-ah.” Yunho murmured. “I’m sorry.” He repeated, his eyes smarting with tears which were about to trickle down his cheeks.

 

Jaejoong looked at Yunho, taking his face in his hands and gently brushing his tears away. He smiled at Yunho and wound his arms around his shoulders, letting the other bury his face into his shoulder, Yunho’s arms circling Jaejoong’s waist.

 

“I think he understands now, Yun.” Jaejoong quietly spoke. “I think he’s saying that you don’t have to feel guilty anymore.”

 

With a sigh, Yunho lifted his face and rested his forehead against Jaejoong’s, (watery) eyes on him. Jaejoong lifted a hand to cup Yunho’s face, again brushing his tears away. Yunho closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, a soft smile on his lips.

 

“Thank you, Joongie.” Yunho whispered, planting a soft his on Jaejoong’s lips.

 

"You're always welcome." Jaejoong whispered back with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello to you who has reached the end of this story! first of all, thank you for taking the time to read this~^^
> 
> this is one of my older fics... one i wrote a long time ago after reading a fic and watching a movie. i kinda took inspiration from both and translated that into this... 
> 
> i don't really have anything to say because i kinda suck at writing notes so hahahaha but i hope that you guys enjoyed reading this~^^


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